Wow, it’s been so long since I’ve posted a blog article. I’ve been busy with, well, my life lol. But also, it’s hard to write sometimes because I need to respect mine and my clients’ privacy. There are also special moments I like keeping just between me and them.
But I thought it would be fun to share some of my funniest client stories. These are stories that when I look back on, I can’t help but laugh. Laugh at myself, the situation, and yes, sometimes the client.
Hope you enjoy the read!
As always, all names have been changed to pseudonyms.
The one where we got too drunk
This story took place a couple of years ago, and the entire event made me stop drinking for a while. It was the first time I met Mark, and his energy hit me like a brick in the face, but in a good way, if such a thing even exists. He’s one of those rare people who can tell an amazing story and keep you hooked. He also has this ability to make you feel special. He just pays so much attention to you. And not in a bullshit way. Like he genuinely cares about what you have to say.
A couple of hours go by at the hotel bar, and I am so enthralled by Mark that every time he orders a shot, I just do it. Like I’m back in college again and think I have no limit when it comes to drinking. By the time we got up to his hotel room, I was starkly reminded that I am no longer in college. Before I knew it, I was throwing up in his bathroom and then being driven back home in Mark’s sports car. Mark was also drunk. Horrible, I know. He wasn’t as drunk as me, but he should not have been driving.
Once I got home, I threw up some more, stalked my ex on LinkedIn then cried myself to sleep. That led to no more drinking for Anna for a very long time. I saw Mark a couple of times after that but haven’t seen him in over a year now. I still think about him from time to time, especially when I’m drinking alcohol.
The one where he made me cry
The title for this story sounds a lot worse than it actually is… I think. Anthony is the best. He is a bit of a scatterbrain, but he is genuinely one of the nicest and coolest clients I have.
The third time I met him, we were at his apartment in New York, and he told me he has this health condition that is going to kill him soon. I don’t know what took over me, but hearing him say that genuinely made me so sad that I started crying. He felt so bad. But it wasn’t his fault, not really. I think I was already having an emotionally heavy day that day, and I probabably needed that cry.
Anthony is still alive today, yay! He even lets me stay at his apartment when I’m in the city whenever he can. See, I told you guys he’s the best!
The one with the celebrity
The title says it all. One time I had a celebrity as a client. But I didn’t know he was a celebrity. Which was dumb as fuck of me because his full celebrity name was literally in his email. The references he gave me were glowing. “Omg he’s the best, you absolutely have to see him” Okay, sold! So, I did. He seemed nice and normal. I genuinely thought he was just some random business or finance guy, like all my clients are. But about an hour into the appointment, I just looked at him and said:
Anna: “You look so familiar… are you famous?”
(I was half joking).
Mr. Celebrity: “I am famous!”
Anna: “What??? You’re kidding.”
Mr. Celebrity: “No, I really am famous!”
So, with him sitting across from me, I Googled his name and boom. There he was. All over Google. A full-blown celebrity I didn’t even recognize. Oops. Celebrities like that though, right? Haha.
The one with the loser
This happened so long ago, but it still pisses me off/makes me laugh. Way back, when I was working at the agency, I saw this client twice who just fucking suckedddd. I won’t go into the details as to why, you guys will just have to trust me. Anyway, then the pandemic hit and I never saw him again.
Until a year later I was at the Nespresso store buying a Nespresso machine (a machine I’ve barely touched by the way) and see a guy who looks very similar to Mr. Loser. I don’t think too much about it. I buy my machine and head outside to wait for my Uber.
A couple minutes later, what do you know, Mr. Loser is walking over to me and says this: “I saw you at the Nespresso store and wanted to tell you you’re so pretty! What’s your name?” Nice try Mr. Loser. I knew I recognized you in that store!!! I’m assuming he was trying to get me to tell him my real-life name, maybe he thought I didn’t remember him. I don’t know.
Anyway, I didn’t even give him the courtesy of lifting my head up from my phone to look at him, let alone give him my name. A couple of moments later he just walked away. Go bother some other hooker (but actually please don’t).
The one where we had the best 24 hours ever
He was dying to see me again but couldn’t leave New York. His solution? He trains me out to the city and we hide out in a five-star hotel together. There are very few clients I would do this with. But lucky for him he’s one of the few.
Let’s call this client Rick. Rick and I just get each other. It’s like we’ve lived the same life but in different bodies (and generations). But as close as we are, we were both a little nervous about how the 24 hours in seclusion would go. Would we feel claustrophobic? Get annoyed with each other? Get bored? All valid concerns. But it was one of the best 24 hours of my life. And I think his too.
We couldn’t go outside at all because of fear of him bumping into someone from work or his wife. So, we hung out in the hotel suite, watched movies, went to the spa, ate at the hotel restaurant for dinner and room service for breakfast. There are very few people that, when you’re with them, hours feel like minutes. When you find someone like that you should know how lucky you are. After those 24 hours we both knew how lucky we were. This wasn’t a very funny story, more wholesome I guess, but it’s my blog and I can write about whatever I want.
Also, honourable mention to my Valentine’s Day 24 hour date from last year! Nothing particularly funny happened on this date either but I was in such a bad mental state because of my horrible breakup, which you can read about here, so that date on Valentines meant so much to me.
I hope you guys enjoyed these stories! There are many more I can write about so maybe I’ll do a part two. But there’s so many other hilarious stories that can never see the light of day for privacy reasons, but that’s okay. Some things are best kept secret;)
Thank you for reading!
Anna:)